My ASD children and their enviable life

I grew up in the 80's to a single mother. My mother was constantly trying to prove herself to everyone. She was college educated like my father. But, my father was an abusive alcoholic. Towards the end of his life he got into heavier drugs. I found out he died on Valentines day when I was in first grade. My mother hushed me at his funeral because I was crying too much. I think my mother was trying to survive with some dignity. At least her daughter wouldn't have to hold a door closed when her dad showed up angry and drunk......so she had that going for her;D She did what a lot of people would do. She threw herself into her work. Which I contend eventually led to her being a level 5 hoarder.

I was in tons of activities: baton, tap, ballet, church groups, bell choir, vocal choirs, paper routes (and yes that is plural), swim team, Girl Scouts, 4-H, soccer, softball, and tons of summer camps. I was in it all.....and I thought that was how everyone was. My mother would drop me off early and pick me up late. I still remember the ballet class that was after mine being dismissed. All of the other girls were picked up while I just sat there.  I remember waiting for an hour after a soccer game for my mom. I got annoyed and just decided to walk 3 miles home. When I got home I used some junk outside the house to climb up to a window. Then I popped it open so I could crawl into our house. I actually worried I would be in trouble for doing this....but, I wasn't. Which was cool:) It was just the way it was. Basically, my mom used these activities to get rid of me. I have no idea why. I have always been pretty awesome;D Chances are she was just really overwhelmed and it had very little to do with me.

When I envisioned having children I assumed that it would be similar. My children would love doing activities. And I really did enjoy these activities. It was so much better than being in a house with aisles:/ But, I would do something different than my mom. I would be more involved.

As my oldest two started to show more and more ASD characteristics I worried. I worried for their futures. How would they ever make their needs known? How would they make friends?  Would they ever be physically coordinated enough to be on a team? Let alone have jobs when they grew up. These thoughts haunted me. And I was a wreck for years because of it.

It's not that I don't worry about their futures now. But, now I see that even if they do have autism their lives are more enviable than most. When it rains my children are out there splashing in the puddles. In one weeks time my children sled more than I did in my whole childhood. They have already visited zoos more times than I did as a child. They have spent more time flying kites than I ever did. They have spent more time at parks than I ever did. They have done more crafts than I ever did as a child. They have spent more time playing board games than I ever did. And you know what?
My children know that these things are important to me and that I am actually having fun with them. We spend lots of time doing multiple Easter egg hunts in our back yard during the Easter season. And if it snows we are out there enjoying it.

Basically,  we are doing things I never really got to do as a child because I was too busy being trained to be a "well-rounded individual."  And because of this, I think they have had a more genuine childhood than I had. And I believe that my children might have a more genuine childhood than most NT children who are shuttle activity to activity. I'm not saying parents of NT's are ditching their children like my mom did. But......

My children have parents who worry about them. Many children are just passing thoughts....if anything to their parents.

My children know they are loved regardless of accomplishments. Many children only get parents attention when they are the best. Or worse when they aren't performing up to their parents high standards.

My children don't have to do any activities that they don't want to do. Many children have to do activities because their parents have invested too much into said activities.

My children have routine, free time and holiday traditions. Many children never do crafts or unstructured activities with their parents.

So even though my children's lives are not perfect.  They still live very enviable lives. Lives full of love, adventure, fun.....and an awesome mom:)