It is super frustrating if you have facebook friends like this. They don't have any children on the spectrum. But, they post links to articles about vaccine, toxic lifestyle, parental age, not breastfeed long enough and these things being linked to autism.
And it just leaves ASD parents with feelings like....
Researchers are often in a rush to get their findings published. This of course just adds to the blame game which usually revolves around mothers. I did not use anti-depressants. But, I know some women did. And when a study was released saying the use of anti-depressants increased your likelihood of having a child with autism...lots of women were feeling guilty. I thought it was bullshit. Well it turns out a few months later there was a different study contradicting it.
Then there are people who use my children as an example as to why they don't want to vaccinate.
On the surface this just sounds like they are being super protective. But, I can't help but feel they view my child as "less" than others. And that seriously pisses me off. Researchers say autism isn't caused by vaccines. Even if you think they are full of shit and there is some huge cover up. You are basically saying you would rather risk your child's dying than them getting autism. You would rather your child be dead than to be like my child. I can understand not wanting your child to have autism. Hell, I don't want my kids to have autism. But, I'd rather have them the way they are than for them to be dead. But, maybe that's just a me thing.
I want to assume they post all these links because they are trying to be supportive. I suppose they are supportive........ just in a really fucked up way.
It comes across as blaming the parents. As if we need any help in that department. Like, "Hey look...you did this wrong. That's why your child is like this. I won't make the same mistake you made because I'm a better parent." Well isn't that great that you are so fucking perfect and know everything? Thanks for taking the time to educate me. I guess you made your point. We totally deserved this to happen to us because we don't use all natural shampoo. If I had only known about this company that uses scare tactics to sell their products we could have avoided autism. Lesson learned.
Then ASD parents blame themselves for things that are probably complete bullshit to begin with. (I am very much guilty of this.) As if we don't have enough to deal with as it is. Good thing we have other ASD parents who understand and can offer us some comfort after we read your links.
So all of you bastards who think you are so helpful by posting your study links, and scare tactics can go fuck yourselves. You are not being helpful.....you are being hurtful. So do something helpful to redeem yourselves.
Not every comment or link is as passively aggressive as the examples above. Sometime people are just flat out insulting. This has never happened to me. I have never heard someone say that they don't want to have children because they don't want special needs children. I think it's because I live in a fairly religious area. But, I had heard enough of this crap from other people that I created this card.
Even if your child was born perfect. There is no guarantee that they wouldn't get sick or have some sort of accident in their life. There are no guarantees like that in this world. If you don't think that you can love a child unconditionally then you shouldn't have any. I don't say this to shame anyone. I have friends who have chosen not to have kids because they want to be able to travel, focus on their careers etc. And I completely respect that. But don't use special needs to make your point. It is beyond hurtful and it makes you look incredibly shallow.
So yeah.....we get it. You don't want a child with special needs......because you are a complete bastard;D
