What my page is....

I have reasonable expectations for my page. My page is to give craft ideas to do with ASD kids. And to entertain ASD parents.  I do not claim to be an autism awareness page. You will not see graphics describing the early signs of autism,  or I.E.P. tips. I also don't live under the assumption that my little page will change the world for my children. Very few people from the NT world even know that there are autism pages. So thinking that my page matters really doesn't make sense to me.

You might not like my profanity. Hey that's fine. I've made graphics I wouldn't even share on my personal page;D

You might think I am making light of my children's troubles. I am not. I am far more aware of what they have to deal with than you. I was a wreck about it for the longest time. It still hurts. But humor has helped me.  If you can read "I love someone with autism" graphics and you are magically happy. Good for you. I am genuinely happy for you. But, it doesn't work for me.

You might think I have ruined all the work your page has done for autism awareness. That's fine. I guess I can be the bad guy. Although I'm not exactly sure how you measured what YOU DID and HOW I RUINED IT. It's not like your stuff or my stuff is going viral. We aren't battling it out for the top stories on Yahoo News.....at least not yet;D

In closing my goal isn't to destroy the whole autism community with jokes about cleaning up smeared poop. Nope....I just wanted to make exhausted parents laugh.

My ASD children and their enviable life

I grew up in the 80's to a single mother. My mother was constantly trying to prove herself to everyone. She was college educated like my father. But, my father was an abusive alcoholic. Towards the end of his life he got into heavier drugs. I found out he died on Valentines day when I was in first grade. My mother hushed me at his funeral because I was crying too much. I think my mother was trying to survive with some dignity. At least her daughter wouldn't have to hold a door closed when her dad showed up angry and drunk......so she had that going for her;D She did what a lot of people would do. She threw herself into her work. Which I contend eventually led to her being a level 5 hoarder.

I was in tons of activities: baton, tap, ballet, church groups, bell choir, vocal choirs, paper routes (and yes that is plural), swim team, Girl Scouts, 4-H, soccer, softball, and tons of summer camps. I was in it all.....and I thought that was how everyone was. My mother would drop me off early and pick me up late. I still remember the ballet class that was after mine being dismissed. All of the other girls were picked up while I just sat there.  I remember waiting for an hour after a soccer game for my mom. I got annoyed and just decided to walk 3 miles home. When I got home I used some junk outside the house to climb up to a window. Then I popped it open so I could crawl into our house. I actually worried I would be in trouble for doing this....but, I wasn't. Which was cool:) It was just the way it was. Basically, my mom used these activities to get rid of me. I have no idea why. I have always been pretty awesome;D Chances are she was just really overwhelmed and it had very little to do with me.

When I envisioned having children I assumed that it would be similar. My children would love doing activities. And I really did enjoy these activities. It was so much better than being in a house with aisles:/ But, I would do something different than my mom. I would be more involved.

As my oldest two started to show more and more ASD characteristics I worried. I worried for their futures. How would they ever make their needs known? How would they make friends?  Would they ever be physically coordinated enough to be on a team? Let alone have jobs when they grew up. These thoughts haunted me. And I was a wreck for years because of it.

It's not that I don't worry about their futures now. But, now I see that even if they do have autism their lives are more enviable than most. When it rains my children are out there splashing in the puddles. In one weeks time my children sled more than I did in my whole childhood. They have already visited zoos more times than I did as a child. They have spent more time flying kites than I ever did. They have spent more time at parks than I ever did. They have done more crafts than I ever did as a child. They have spent more time playing board games than I ever did. And you know what?
My children know that these things are important to me and that I am actually having fun with them. We spend lots of time doing multiple Easter egg hunts in our back yard during the Easter season. And if it snows we are out there enjoying it.

Basically,  we are doing things I never really got to do as a child because I was too busy being trained to be a "well-rounded individual."  And because of this, I think they have had a more genuine childhood than I had. And I believe that my children might have a more genuine childhood than most NT children who are shuttle activity to activity. I'm not saying parents of NT's are ditching their children like my mom did. But......

My children have parents who worry about them. Many children are just passing thoughts....if anything to their parents.

My children know they are loved regardless of accomplishments. Many children only get parents attention when they are the best. Or worse when they aren't performing up to their parents high standards.

My children don't have to do any activities that they don't want to do. Many children have to do activities because their parents have invested too much into said activities.

My children have routine, free time and holiday traditions. Many children never do crafts or unstructured activities with their parents.

So even though my children's lives are not perfect.  They still live very enviable lives. Lives full of love, adventure, fun.....and an awesome mom:)

Shit I say about my page followers

"My page followers will not read my blog posts. Lazy bastards;D haha. Seriously, these people are sooooooo much like me;D I fucking love their indifference."

Oh wait......you actually came to my blog. I didn't see that coming;D 

- In your defense. I usually don't have anything profound to say anyway. And how could I hate people who are just like me? I love you bastards. But, you came for some dirt. So here goes.....

So I've had my facebook page for a little over two years. In that time I have made some broad assumptions about page followers. Clearly you are all awesome. You are incredibly lucky to have found me. And I am lucky to have you. Here are some things that I have either thought, said out loud, or written to friends and/or page followers. 

I can't believe they added that ugly ass border to my graphic! 
-Technically a page did this.....but they saw it from a home page so they are fucking followers;D 

While I'm talking about other page owners that follow my page. Let's just get this out there. I know there is something wrong with you......I just don't care:) 

There is no fucking way that is her real name. No fucking way. 

Doesn't she know what sarcasm is? 

What fake name this bitch will use next time?

"This is really going to piss people off." 

Oh Hell no bitch! Your ass is banned!

"I seriously would not fuck with this woman. Just leave her alone."

Holy shit! This bitch means business.

Where the fuck were you with your grammar corrections BEFORE the fucking graphic was shared over 30 times? Take a breath Kristi and remember to thank her. She's just trying to help.

Then I try to act all "mature" about it. I fix my mistake then make an ecard about the incident.

How come I don't have more male followers? 

Oh, you think I should be more mature? Obviously, you are new here. That isn't going to happen.

"My page can't grow like other pages. I have a small population to work from. They have to be ASD parents, who do crafts with their kids, and don't mind lots of profanity."

- It's true....there aren't many people like us. 

"You know...I'm not sure if people care about the crafts. I think they just like the profanity." 
- Is it true? 

"Who the fuck reports a 9-11 memorial post?"
- This actually appeared briefly on my page before I took it down. I was really pissed. I probably could have handled that better. 

-Please tell me that I am;D

We're all too busy being awesome to do all that crap! But, we are all still kick ass. And this graphic will forever stand as a testament to that fact;D

...and it's true:) 

I love you bastards.....except for the a-holes that I have had to ban.

Telling your children the truth about Santa

It's Christmas time. Which means there are a lot of parents out there that need to tell their little ones that there is no Santa. 

I always imagined telling my children in July....so it wouldn't be so heartbreaking. But, it didn't happen like that. Princess figured it out when she was 8 and recognized that there were a lot of Santas. Goofball heard it on the bus last week (he is 6)  So I imagine Seeker age 8, did as well. But apparently most parents tell their kids around Christmas...which honestly makes no sense to me. But whatever....

So I am on Pinterest and what comes through my feed like a million times? All of these elaborate ways to tell your child that there is no Santa. The parents desperately try to prove that their lies;D were meant to teach the child life long lessons. Its cute....but, completely unnecessary.

Tomorrow is the feast day of St. Nicholas. You know...jolly old Saint Nicholas lean your ear this way. You know that guy;D Anyway, even if you aren't Catholic why can't you just tell your kid that Santa is loosely based upon St. Nicholas? It's the truth. I know...it will be hard to depart from your lying ways;D haha

And honestly I think that the moral lessons you are trying to instill in your child via Santa are more apparent in St. Nick anyway.

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/origin-of-santa/
"Aside from the obvious disparities between Saint Nicholas and the secular Santa Claus, perhaps the most poignant difference between them can be seen in the nature of the gifts they give. While Santa has his bundle of toys, the gift that Saint Nicholas gives is nothing short of freedom from poverty and desperation. The life of Saint Nicholas is an example of faith made flesh in actions of true charity."
—from God with Us: Rediscovering the Meaning of Christmas

Besides St. Nick is a really kick ass Saint.....but, you don't have to tell your kids about that part;D

I don't need your approval. But, sometimes I still want it.

Caution lots of sarcasm and smiley faces are in this post. Proceed with caution. 

My little Seeker has been more affectionate than usual. While we were at Thanksgiving he was running up to me, hugging me, and jumping into my lap as I sat at a table with my MIL and my husbands aunt. They were talking about the aunt's new grandchild. The parents are young and haven't been able to put the baby down. And as a result the baby is now spoiled;D They spoke about how the mom is young and hasn't quite learned that a baby needs to learn to function on its own without being held at all times. The aunt has been in child care for decades. So I had no real interest in debating her;D She is a really nice lady. But she probably would have ripped apart any argument I could have formulated anyway;D And honestly it's not really my business.

So I am sitting there doting on Seeker giving him TONS of attention. It was more than usual. But we pretty much accept and give him attention based on what he can handle at the time. As I sat there I just thought to myself, this is hilarious. Here they are talking about how a baby should be independent, while I have an 8 year old who will not leave me alone. But, in Seekers defense I am REALLY REALLY awesome;D

All of my children liked to be held when they were babies. I toted them all over the place. And Goofball basically lived in a baby sling. Why? ....because I didn't want my babies to think they could be independent. I squashed that out of them early;D But, as Seeker got older and more of his ASD tendencies came out. He started avoiding us more and more, until we didn't really exist in his world. Luckily, he now acknowledges our existence. 

Seeker isn't always rainbows and butterflies. In fact he can be quite cranky. It's like an emotional roller coaster. Like many chidlren on the spectrum when he is riled up sometimes he wants to be touched. And sometimes he doesn't. It varies moment to moment. And this did occur at Thanksgiving. Eventually we were able to help him and no meltdown occurred:)

But, don't worry. Through it all he remained the center of attention. Once he got his crankies out. He was getting lots of cuddles, and kisses again. Then he was getting his share of tickles from his great uncle (MIL's brother). It was absolutely adorable to see them interact. When the great uncle left with his wife/the (great) aunt   She said, "You guys do a really good job with him" It caught me off guard because of two things. The first is that these types of things make me a little nervous to hear because I wonder what Seeker thinks when he hears it. So I just said something to the effect that "Seeker has his hands full raising two parents like us. But, he's doing what he can." And everyone laughed. 

And secondly I was caught off guard because I assumed she would be critical of our parenting style. Most people assume that there are right and wrong ways to raise children. But, its nice that people understand that some situations require a different approach or perspective. Do most 8 year olds jump into their moms lap and demand kisses? Probably not. But, this is where Seeker is at. And I like it a lot more than when he was avoiding us.

So while I don't really need your approval on how I raise my children. Sometimes I want it....sometimes I just want you to see that my way is correct too.